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Judgement

I hate how I get into a bus and people stare at me as if I should be ashamed of being a young mom or a single mom. Apparently I'm a plague now. Restaurants, coffee shops, libraries, malls ... Everywhere I go, I get stares, or people move away from us. And no, I am not paranoid, you'd noticed too. Even the people I am with, noticed the stares. Why is everyone so judgemental? Am I a bad person for wanting to keep my child and raise her on my own (not literally, but they don't know that)?
Is being a single mother, really that bad? Heck no! It's a blessing, it's grateful. My daughter will thank me in the future for giving her life, rather than murdering her before she had a heartbeat ...

Not only that, but it's also bad when you are in debt. I know it will get better next month, but for now, things are going down hill. I don't have enough to feed myself or pay my flippin' bills. Maybe I shouldn't have quit my job. My daughter's expenses take over, but I can't help it (she is more important, duh!). At least she is fed and clothed properly. Oh well, at least I will lose more weight (that's pathetic to even mention)

Once again, I am being harsh on myself. Why does this keep happening? I feel like I'm not doing anything that's good enough for anyone. Everything I do, I feel like I will fail, and no one has hope or faith in me. This sucks (very immature to say, but tells it all)

I know I'm going to be okay ... I know He is always there .. things will go up again

Posted by Claudia on Monday, September 25, 2006 at 5:58 a.m. |

I can't believe that people would do that!! *grr* I want to smack them all freakin' silly. Honestly. I don't think that there's anything wrong with being a single mother at all, people do it all the time. You're not a bad person at all, and anyone who tries to make you believe otherwise is ignorant and not worth your time.

I know how you feel, thinking that you're not only not doing anything good enough, but sometimes you feel that you're not good enough for anyone. I feel like that a lot, and I've gotten to the point sometimes where I don't feel good enough for myself, or God, much less anyone else. I know that it's silly to hate yourself, but I sure do sometimes, a lot more than I'd like to, or wish to admit. It's hard to do sometimes, but you just have to realize that really, if anyone thinks that you're not good enough, they can all just shove it. You're a wonderful mother, and you just got accepted to a kick ass school... it'll be hard, but things will get better. I have faith in you.

Posted by Blogger Unknown | Mon Sep 25, 12:21:00 p.m. 2006  

I didn't even realize that you are still blogging. I thought when you dropped Niama's that you did yours as well.

I can't beleive that in this day and age and in Victoria that anyone would be that judgemental. I mean really. Look around you at all the pot heads, beggars, goths and all the other kinds of people out there and being a single mom is really not something to be ashamed of. You are doing a great job in spite of your situation and keep you chin up. Your baby is desperately loved and that is the most important thing.
Auntie Mitz

Posted by Anonymous Anonymous | Wed Sep 27, 02:01:00 a.m. 2006  

I commend you on being a single mother. That is a tough job for sure. Naima is lucky to have you as a mother!! I have faith in you, and I am sure other do as well. It is too bad for the stares. Just ignore them, and keep on. People like that are not worth your time worrying over.

Posted by Blogger Carol | Wed Sep 27, 10:05:00 a.m. 2006  

Aw Claudia, your little girl is so beautiful and such a blessing to everyone who looks at her. If people want to stare I say to do this- "what are you staring at? Yes I have a child, have you never seen a baby before?" HAHAHA oh man, i am laughing... that'd be the best :D LOVE YOU!!!! AND NAIMA!!!!

Posted by Blogger Carlie | Fri Sep 29, 02:18:00 p.m. 2006  

Thank you everyone.
It just bothers me, I try to let it get to me.

Thanks again!
Love you all

Posted by Blogger Claudia | Tue Oct 03, 10:17:00 a.m. 2006  

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